Just when you think that life is smooth, running safe and sound, there comes a time when you realize that your life is in dilemma! And you have been facing this dilemma since the time you have been confident of yourself. What makes you realize your potential is actually taking a toll on yourself. Your life is a complete mess with all the jitters playing their roles so perfectly that you do not get a chance to correct yourself. The pressures around you, the people with you and the career path you have chosen add up to the mess, knowingly-unknowingly! What escalates the issue more is the commitment you have made – not to others, to yourself! Because in the end you are so self conscious that you feel you are answerable to yourself for every act you perform (and every stupid decision of yours!!!)
Just above is the phase I am passing through. If I try to analyze the garbage on my mind, blast, it’s just tooooo much!
Just above is the phase I am passing through. If I try to analyze the garbage on my mind, blast, it’s just tooooo much!
Let’s see –
Family-busy in sorting out their own problems! How do I add up to it??
Friends-well adjusted in their places and careers…don’t think I fit in!
Career-the one in which I exist, does not actually exist for me…thats what my graph says!
Love life- Oops…never existed!!!!!
Health-Always posing a problem!
God-OMG!! Think need to start believing more in it now…actually to leave it up to Him!!
Guess the only composure I have within me is of my writing…that too if I am not too much occupied with the above stuff and am able to think of something writeable. How can someone, so much pre-occupied in life and way too messed up with it, expected to be smiling and enjoying! But………………as it goes, I have to and I do! Actually it’s no big deal. When you know that neither cribbing nor smiling is going to solve your dwindling and imbalanced
life…why waste your energy on being so sadistic? My wishes, my joy, my heart plays no role in making my dreams come true. They do not hold a position of importance in any of the EVENTS!!How do I term my life as – predictable: unpredictable, calm & composed: turbulent, happening: boring, wholesome: worried. None truly fits in.
Exhausted!! Exhausted of thinking about what I am. Is it so difficult to just spend your one day without burying your head into philosophical areas? There are moments when you think life is so full of love, goodness and kindness! Then it says…..kiddos grow up! This wasn’t the way it is. And it goes on…till date!
But, positivity still exists in life! Wish for a better future always.
Family-busy in sorting out their own problems! How do I add up to it??
Friends-well adjusted in their places and careers…don’t think I fit in!
Career-the one in which I exist, does not actually exist for me…thats what my graph says!
Love life- Oops…never existed!!!!!
Health-Always posing a problem!
God-OMG!! Think need to start believing more in it now…actually to leave it up to Him!!
Guess the only composure I have within me is of my writing…that too if I am not too much occupied with the above stuff and am able to think of something writeable. How can someone, so much pre-occupied in life and way too messed up with it, expected to be smiling and enjoying! But………………as it goes, I have to and I do! Actually it’s no big deal. When you know that neither cribbing nor smiling is going to solve your dwindling and imbalanced
life…why waste your energy on being so sadistic? My wishes, my joy, my heart plays no role in making my dreams come true. They do not hold a position of importance in any of the EVENTS!!How do I term my life as – predictable: unpredictable, calm & composed: turbulent, happening: boring, wholesome: worried. None truly fits in.Exhausted!! Exhausted of thinking about what I am. Is it so difficult to just spend your one day without burying your head into philosophical areas? There are moments when you think life is so full of love, goodness and kindness! Then it says…..kiddos grow up! This wasn’t the way it is. And it goes on…till date!
But, positivity still exists in life! Wish for a better future always.
William Wordsworth has once said “when from our better selves we have too long been parted by the hurrying world, sick of its business, of its pleasures tired, how gracious, how benign is solitude”
Your blog has got the potential to connect instantly to the reader's heart! Whilst I was reading it, I actually could feel myself in your shoes!
ReplyDeleteYou are indeed going through a challenging phase,but having known you for quite some time now, I'm sure you'll emerge a winner in this situation as well. As cliched as it may sound, tough situations don't last, but tough people do!
Be positive. Positive things happen to positive people. Trust the Universe. Trust and believe and have faith. It's easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline when you're a winner, when you're number one. But what you've got to have also, is faith and discipline when you're not yet a winner. Despite the immense challenges that we have faced and continue to face, we should refuse to indulge in negativity or pessimism.
The most important thing is God's blessing and if you believe in God and you believe in yourself, you have nothing to worry about! Loads of good wishes!
Thx Swaroop! for everything u said..it actually feels good when someone tries to understand your side...
ReplyDeleteI know life is going to be fine..waiting too long for it now!! Guess our human mind is so much adjusted to perfection, that a bit of doodles here n there cause a stir...But thats the way it goes. I just hope later in my life I would be able to laugh at my imperfect life right now!! :)