Don't think I am aimless,

My aims, so high, beyind your vision......



Don't think I am silent,

my words so sharp, they might prick you....



M not worthless,

My actions so staunch, beyond your grasp......



Don't judge me by your standards,

My attitude so high, won't come down to yours!



Don't make a mistake of suppressing me,

It will hamper your own confidence......



Stand out get alive,

Be happy, with positive vibes!

build your own attitude,

don't merge with me, I already have one.....

Something more than my moods.........

Just when you think that life is smooth, running safe and sound, there comes a time when you realize that your life is in dilemma! And you have been facing this dilemma since the time you have been confident of yourself. What makes you realize your potential is actually taking a toll on yourself. Your life is a complete mess with all the jitters playing their roles so perfectly that you do not get a chance to correct yourself. The pressures around you, the people with you and the career path you have chosen add up to the mess, knowingly-unknowingly! What escalates the issue more is the commitment you have made – not to others, to yourself! Because in the end you are so self conscious that you feel you are answerable to yourself for every act you perform (and every stupid decision of yours!!!)
Just above is the phase I am passing through. If I try to analyze the garbage on my mind, blast, it’s just tooooo much!

Let’s see –
Family-busy in sorting out their own problems! How do I add up to it??
Friends-well adjusted in their places and careers…don’t think I fit in!
Career-the one in which I exist, does not actually exist for me…thats what my graph says!
Love life- Oops…never existed!!!!!
Health-Always posing a problem!
God-OMG!! Think need to start believing more in it now…actually to leave it up to Him!!
Guess the only composure I have within me is of my writing…that too if I am not too much occupied with the above stuff and am able to think of something writeable. How can someone, so much pre-occupied in life and way too messed up with it, expected to be smiling and enjoying! But………………as it goes, I have to and I do! Actually it’s no big deal. When you know that neither cribbing nor smiling is going to solve your dwindling and imbalanced life…why waste your energy on being so sadistic? My wishes, my joy, my heart plays no role in making my dreams come true. They do not hold a position of importance in any of the EVENTS!!How do I term my life as – predictable: unpredictable, calm & composed: turbulent, happening: boring, wholesome: worried. None truly fits in.
Exhausted!! Exhausted of thinking about what I am. Is it so difficult to just spend your one day without burying your head into philosophical areas? There are moments when you think life is so full of love, goodness and kindness! Then it says…..kiddos grow up! This wasn’t the way it is. And it goes on…till date!
But, positivity still exists in life! Wish for a better future always.

William Wordsworth has once said “when from our better selves we have too long been parted by the hurrying world, sick of its business, of its pleasures tired, how gracious, how benign is solitude”

Life has changed, for the better or worst…and it is still gradually changing! It isn’t easy to mould into new life. But life has left us with no options other than accepting it! The reality is, you either accept and mould your attitude towards it or change others’ attitude towards life.

How smoothly this change has taken place..we all started our journey with an aspiration to make a difference to this corporate world. We knew we had the strength – to stand the pressure, the knowledge to enlighten around and the wisdom to make a difference! Life was so full of enthusiasm and hope. The liveliness, the happiness, the laughter and the joy we had on our faces was so pure and divine. We thought of ethics of values and of principles; we spoke of our rights and our duties; we used jargons and phrases.

But it has all changed..Certainly it has! Can’t judge whether for good or for bad..Because everyone has his own ways of looking at life. What might seem like challenging for me might seem frustrating for someone. What seems like boring to me might seem to be exciting for someone! So there is no way to judge anyone. But somewhere down the line, your unconscious mind has started judging others. Their ways of living, the thinking has altered, mutated! You are not the same person which you were few months back. We all call it being mature or being practical. But is it true that these are the ways to suppress the realization that you have changed…with or without wanting to change!

Desperate to get into the corporate world, to make that mark of yours was what we aspired then. But does it come with the cost of not being able to express your joy fearlessly? Why do we have to think of consequences before even putting one step ahead? Has life become so unpredictable? Or may be it has become so predictable that you can already think of the consequences and alter your ways!

Just a thought….can we always build our future? Or do we let it build itself, with time or with age? Will the new world always alter the courage and the expectations of the youth or will we be able to put ourselves in those positions where we can make our own ways? And in this whole process, where does humanity lie? Where do relations stand? Does it only matter with when it boils down to family or friends? Does it not take into consideration other people around you, who work with you, for you under you, above you or simply not for you!!

Last…do we even give it a thought? Can we spare a few moments a day to ponder on such small things in life…which give genuine happiness…to us, to people and to the small world around us??

An Acquaintance…..made for lifetime!!

There is always a time in your life, at every point different stage where people enter for a certain purpose! They complete their duration and leave. Sometimes some special people leave a mark, on you, your thinking, your lifestyle and your life. And they are so different and effective that you need not spend a lifetime with them. Just some countable but timeless moments are enough!!

I met one such person in my life….Smriti Sharma! Where and how I met her is immaterial since she is beyond those boundaries. But she deserves this description of hers, or rather someone may say this appreciation!

It goes this way..........

She is a complete Diva in herself. Her lifestyle influences people around her. Very open with many of her complicated phenomenon of life but still knows the difference between professional and personal life @ work! You just cannot be in the same company and not meet someone like Smriti! This female might get a nightmare if she decides to quit talking (or I may say chattering!!) for an hour. Laughing, giggling and humor are like the souls present within her, just cannot separate them from her! And the one most important this mankind can ever n ever do is embarrassing people around her in a very sweet and appropriately loving way! I may call her the satire queen for that!

There are so many times, when you think you may have perceived this person right but she keeps on surprising you!

If you think she is reserved, the next moment she might start with personal level talks.

If you feel she is judgmental, the very next second you feel you are getting judgmental about her.

If you think she is casual with her spending, later on you get to know that she may prefer a roadside coffee over a CCD.

If you sense something’s wrong and she’s thinking seriously about life, the next micro second she might start laughing hilariously!

She is the most dynamic personality I have seen around, and her dynamic nature compels you to stay on your toes!! There are many such ironies related to her, where you could go on describing about and still not be sure whether you might experience them next time….! She is one party freak animal, and can go on n on tirelessly. With army background, her values drooling over her, she would not think before breaking any rules, but would never cross her lines! You cannot just restrict her for anything or keep her away from certain ways of living (typically the Aisha style living………), but still makes sense when has a logic behind every reasoning of hers (btw which is rare with girls…..I agree!!)

All in all she’s this person whom anyone everyone likes to laugh with, be friends with, mingle with and be seen with! But I would like this person to be a remembrance in my life, with whom I spent the most joyful and fantastic days of my life…funny, frank and beautiful soul on this earth!